What to Do When I Become a Koi and Fall into the Male God’s Bathtub

WDBKFMGB Chapter 10 – Fate’s Calling Card

TL Notes: Hello, dear readers! Here’s chapter 10. Currently, the release schedule is 1 full chapter per week. I was recently asked if I could break the posts into parts like I do with SA. Personally, I feel that breaking it into parts would making the reading process strange for this specific novel, as the chapters are formatted to show both the MC and ML’s perspectives.

However, if most readers would prefer I break the chapters into 2 parts (meaning faster releases, around 3 posts per week instead of 1) I could break them into parts based on the perspective changes (Example: Chapter 10 part 1 would show Xi Guican’s view; Chapter 10 part 2 would be He Ruge’s view). Let me know what you all think! Comment below or send me a message via ‘Contact’ page. Thank You!


[Mission below: slap the face of the keyboard master:
Click on the Jinjiang Literature City website link provided by the game and use the basic military academy network reconnaissance course knowledge to face slap the keyboard master]

Games in the interstellar era did not require one to always lie in the game cabin all the time. Sometimes, the game would issue offline tasks which required players to enable permissions on their light brains to complete the tasks under the monitoring of the game. 

Xi Guican received this type of offline task.

The game cabin opened automatically and Xi Guican opened his eyes. The raging anger in his eyes would frighten people.

He Ruge’s seeming fragility and helplessness were like strengths to gain sympathy, stabbing straight into Xi Guican’s heart. When Xi Guican clicked open the comments area and saw the bitter scoldings and curses on the screen, his anger reached the brim!

Roar —-
What was “Si Ma”[1]?! 
Don’t know!
Were horses used to curse at people?

Roar —-
What was “Dog Author”[2]?!
Don’t Know!
Were dogs also used to curse at people?!

Roar —-
Our cat species is still the best!

Although he couldn’t understand anything, Xi Guican instinctively understood that these words did not carry good meanings. The anger in his blue pupils exploded outwards like a fire lit within cold ice. He stared coldly at the ID name “Revenge on Society”, his countenance the same as if he were looking at the Zergs in the midst of war.

It was the countenance of someone looking at the dead.

He tapped on the light screen, his fingers were flying and intercepting information within the streams of data-  

Maybe it was to reduce the difficulty of the game, but the novel website’s program was like a product from technologically inept civilizations. Xi Guican was able to access the program’s controls and revealed all of the poster’s information.

This spray poster[3] had commented before on various websites, insulting celebrities, athletes, writers, artists…

A young girl was harassed:
Wearing so little, aren’t you showing off

A popular web personality’s selfie post:
So ugly, plastic surgery addict

A web novelist updated:
An elementary student’s writing, uncultured 

Even though Xi Guican knew that all of this was just a game, and the sprayer who insulted He Ruge was just a villain in this well-designed game, his heart still felt like it was clenched by a strong grip, causing the nerves in his heart to be constantly agitated and stimulating pain in his soul.

A single hair drifted from his head. Being angered till he would spit blood, Xi Guican finally ushered in the age of hair loss in his human form.

Hair loss in his human form was a very serious matter. In his original form (animal form) Xi Guican had lost all his hair except for on his forehead and was almost bald everywhere else.  

Xi Guican shrugged off this hair and entered “Revenge on Society’s” communication systems, posting clearly all the evidence against the other party.

Underdogs hide in the virtual world and hurt the innocent to get emotional pleasure.

Thus, one must expose their doings to the public and leave them nowhere to hide.  

  *

Zhang Meng was a self-proclaimed keyboard master, every time this little thief and criminal was caught, Zhang Meng would don the cloak of the Internet and escape through the keyboard. 

Early that morning, he opened the sign-in for Jinjiang Literature City (JJWXC), collected the moonstones[4], and used the moonstones to brush negatives on the author named “Ru Ge”. Female authors were always easy to bully, being sprayed until they couldn’t lift their head or find a retort.

Zhang Meng thought of the girl who rejected him yesterday and sneered, instead, treating Ru Ge, this “female author”, as a substitute for that girl and cursing insultingly: “Disgusting to death, what is this writing” 

After using the Moonstone, he satisfactorily turned off Jinjiang and opened his Weibo, preparing to catch a few more stars who were frequently scolded by netizens.

After all, on Weibo, every time he cursed and added the phrase “If you agree with me, please give me a thumbs up”, he would get likes from like-minded friends. This kind of comfortable mood was not available through Jinjiang.

Society was too unfair to him. People like him could have easily slept with all the female celebrities, spent money drunkenly and lived a dream-like life, but he blamed it all on not having a good father!

Zhang Meng snorted and opened Weibo, preparing to change into the curse spraying specialist, but suddenly realized he had several hundreds of unread private messages. 

Did he win the prize raffle from some time ago?  

Zhang Mengxing rushed to open up the comments, blood not yet boiling from excitement, but was ambushed on all sides by hundreds of comments: “You are disgusting”, “You mouth is disgusting, did you eat sh*t”, “So ugly,yet you still have face to scold my little bean. Why don’t you pee yourself and take a look”, “Hehe. Stealing and yet aren’t embarrassed to show it off ”  

He actually, he was actually scolded like this! Do these people have manners?! Not speaking up when talking[5]?! In the end, what happened?!

Zhang Meng was trembling with anger. When he opened his own homepage, his face suddenly lost color. On his homepage there was a long Weibo post which listed the countless shameless things he had done over the years. The evidence was conclusive and maddening. It was as if, to become infamous, he had self-destructed. 

… It’s impossible. Who wrote this? Who hacked his account? !! How did they find so much evidence? !!  

A terrible notion suddenly popped into his head. Zhang Meng’s hands shook heavily while he opened up his WeChat, Penguin, and Zhihu accounts. When he saw the dense amount of blackmail material, his eyes widened and he fainted —

It was over[6]

  *

[Di — The offline mission, slap the face of the keyboard master, was successfully completed! Completion evaluation: excellent. Reward: Destiny Divination x1. Note: Destiny Divination: The desires of your soul is the prophet of your destiny][7]

The verdant green webpage of Jinjiang Literature City disappeared and everything related to that low-tech civilization also vanished in a flash.

A card was suspended in the air, spinning around Xi Guican.

Xi Guican ignored the card. With a serious expression, he grabbed at his scalp and easily pulled out a small tuft of hair.[8]

I…… may become bald.

Xi Guican’s heart sank. He knew that the situation had reached the 100,000 hour[9]. He had to take measures to save himself now. Even if he did not want to use the secret hair growth recipe given by Mao Zixie, he had to try it now.

The secret recipe for hair growth produced by that medicine hunting rat was a medicinal packet. The first step in the hair growth process was to put the medicine packet into the bathtub, and the second step was to get into a bathtub in his original form.

Xi Guican had been refusing to take this medicated bath before because this medicated bath has a specific side effect. That is, it would give large cats a feeling of extreme constipation and diarrhea at the same time, causing weakness in the body. After his first attempt, the big white tiger in the bath curled up into a big shrimp and layed in place[10].

One should not look back.

With a pale complexion, Xi Guican pinched a medicine packet with two fingers, struggle flashing through his blue eyes. However, he steeled his heart and walked into the bathroom, and the huge bathtub was automatically filled with water. The medicine packet fell with a plop into the warm water, and the water turned a milky white.

He stood in front of the bathtub, dressed meticulously and neatly in military uniform. Xi Guican’s wardrobe had no common wear, only his various uniforms. He was a person who didn’t understand nor desire luxury, unwilling to try new things. If there was no external force to move him, Xi Guican would never willingly leave his safety zone.

His bony hands clasped his necktie as he removed it, exposing his neck. His skin was extremely pale, making the blue blood vessels appear highly defined. His fingers nimbly released the buttons and his shirt was randomly thrown to the ground. Xi Guican without his military uniform appeared strong and tall. The muscles tempered from battles were like a line of rolling hills[11].

He was the typical ‘appearing thin in clothing, but muscular without’ type[12]. In his military uniform, if he happened to be tormented by sickness and revealed a hint of fragility, he would seem like a weak beauty. However, at this moment, those muscles and bones had nothing to do with any sign of illness.

Xi Guican expressionlessly removed his belt, and the inverted triangle figure displayed a thin waist with wide shoulders. When his pants slipped off, a three-meter-high white bald tiger appeared in the bathroom!  

A mighty tiger’s roar echoed throughout the bathroom. The big white tiger in the mirror, except for the hair on his head, was bald everywhere else. There were also two long, painful scars down his shoulder blades.

His hind paws flung the crumpled trousers away, and the big white tiger calmly and gracefully stepped into the bathtub, without so much as a splash of water. Those icy blue, behind the blur of the water vapor, were softened into a moist, soft blue.

Xi Guican raised his hand, and gently touched the bracelet on his tiger paw—

A light screen emerged.

One’s Light brain was a form of identification for the interstellar people and had a variety of functions, such as communication, logging into the star network, and paying fees.

Xi Guican’s light brain was the most expensive kind. In human form, the light brain took on the shape of a ring. When he shifted into his original shape, the light brain would become a bracelet suitable for tiger paws. With the opening of the light brain, the mission reward of the game “Your Exclusive Lover”, the destiny card, also reappeared and spun around Xi Guican in the bathtub.

Xi Guican turned dizzy from all the spinning and just decided to directly use the mission reward. 

The card emitted a deep purple light, and made a halo shrouding Xi Guican. After ten seconds, a cold, mechanical voice sounded:

[Name: Xi Guican]

[Fortune: Endless Disasters, Death for the nation

Very fortunate, the power of destruction is extremely strong. Fierceness is like the Yellow River bursting from the embankment, like Taishan Mountain collapsing, like glaciers disintegrating. Absolutely irresistible. The inside and outside are in chaos, everything is inconsistent, breeds catastrophe, the division of life and death. Evil spirits come in hordes. An extraordinary disaster]

The big white tiger was silent for a while, his head tilting indifferently. 

This broken game … was it cursing him or praising him?

He turned off the game with one paw, and clicked into the broadcast room of the federal military website, searching up “Official Broadcast of the Second Intergalactic War Channel”

In interstellar entertainment culture, violence and beauty were considered the same. Interstellars advocated the aesthetics of violence. During the first Intergalactic War, there were battlefield reporters broadcasting live, which spurred the highest viewing ratings in their history.

The live broadcast of the second Intergalactic War hit a new record high in viewer ratings. Different from the First Intergalactic War which was only one year long, the Second Intergalactic War had been ongoing for a full three years now, only becoming increasingly fierce.

The reason why the Second Intergalactic War lasted so long was because the Zerg had evolved. Though their attack force value weakened, their wisdom actually improved.

The interstellar people were defeated one after another, and the seventeen stars were already half lost. The legion led by the Snow Lion General was besieged by a tide of insects. The lion piloted his mecha and tried to lead the army out. However, the situation still ended in failure.

When the channel broadcasted his time of death, 100 million viewers held a moment of silence to express their highest respect to those heroes. When the camera switched to the next battle, the silent broadcast room suddenly experienced a barrage:

It would have been great if Major General Xi were still active… he is so strong, if he didn’t become sick three years ago, he would already have been promoted to Marshal based on his military achievements.

The one who always takes charge and eliminates the enemies will always be Xi Guican. He is the God of War in my heart, the guardian deity of our federation.

One versus one hundred, invincible, the day the general returns will be the day the Federation triumphs.

The author has something to say:

Regarding He Ruge and Xi Guican’s meeting, there will still be some time before that. Please hold on till then!

Small Theater 1:
Xi Guican: I ’m going to be bald
He Ruge: That’s cute

Small Theater 2:
Xi Guican: I am soaking in the bathtub. I heard that hair will grow when it is soaked : )
After He Ruge transmigrated…
Xi Guican: I never thought that before my fur had grown in, my wife already appeared in the bathtub!


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[1] “Si Ma”: HOMONYM: FOR SI MA – cursing one’s mother

[2] Also a curse – just know that dogs and eggs are very commonly used as curses

[3] Spray Poster: equivalent of Sh*t poster

[4] Moonstones:get them for signing in and use them to rate novels

[5] “Not speaking up when talking?!”: complaining that he has no idea why this person was scolding him

[6] “It was over”: Yeeeeeee boi

[7] “The desires of your soul is the prophet of your destiny”: Don’t worry. Author meant for this to be cryptic

[8] “easily pulled out a small tuft of hair.”: Oh, poor boy is balding in his human form, too. Soon, you, too, shall become Saitama.

[9] “reached the 100,000 hour” situation has reached the peak

[10] “extreme constipation and diarrhea at the same time”: “side effects may include: Constipation AND Diarrhea. WOW what evil medicine

[11] \(>///u///<)/

[12] “appearing thin in clothing, but muscular without”: if directly translated it would say “meaty when undressed LOL

TL corner: Phew. Went through this chapter struggling with all the modern slang. Is this ….aging? 


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16 thoughts on “WDBKFMGB Chapter 10 – Fate’s Calling Card”

  1. Thanks for the chapter! Your translator notes are a GEM. I nearly spit out my drink when I read the “bald like Saitama” note! 🤣 Also, like WTF is with that fortune!?

    And if you think modern slang is bad, try translating ancient Chinese poems and idioms! I sometimes attempt to MTL historical novels and you can never tell if something is an idiom or taken literally. 😵🤯

    Liked by 1 person

  2. it is actually quite a long chapter so it would be nice to have it spilt aha 3 seems a bit short though so maybe just spilt it in half? Not serious about the latter part, but either way you decide to spilt it, I like the idea :3

    and again, thank you for the chapter!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. QWQ,
      Yes. I would split it into 2 parts each. But, because each chapter would be shorter (less time spent on editing and formatting footnotes), I would have time to get at least 3 posts in for 1 week, meaning example: c10 part1, c10 part2 & c11 part1 ^w^/ (so, there would be 1.5 chapters per week instead of just 1 full chapter)

      Like

  3. Thought He Ruge would appear in the bathtub this chapter, guess it’s not his time yet. ¯\_༼ •́ ͜ʖ •̀ ༽_/¯

    ___

    I prefer 1 chapter a week over a chopped up chapter, I agree that with this novel especially that gets confusing.

    Thanks for the chapter! (≧▽≦)

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Thanks for the chapter!! Lots of love ❤
    I honestly would prefer just having one chapter a week but I don't care as long its getting translated and just wait until all the parts come out so it forms a complete chapter and read it like that. c:

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks for picking up the series! Both split and whole chapters are OK, any way you want to do it is fine as long as you don’t drop the novel ^-^

    Liked by 1 person

  6. >Constipation AND Diarrhea. <
    ( ⊙ o ⊙ ) Does that even work?!
    Omg how evil would that be?! (°△°|||)︴

    Thanks for the chapter!^^~♡

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I prefer 1 howl chapter a week. I also believe it would also be less confusing and time consuming for you because you wouldn’t have to decide where to split the chapters. 😋

      Liked by 1 person

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