What to Do When I Become a Koi and Fall into the Male God’s Bathtub

WDBKFMGB Chapter 1 – Your Exclusive Lover

Hello Dear Readers!! I am currently working on retranslating chapters 1-8 since the last translator removed theirs. Thanks for your patience! Here’s where it all began ^^

To all new readers: Welcome!! Footnotes are located at the bottom of the page. Phrases/sentences in parentheses (…) are mainly implied context and not part of the original raws! I wrote them in to clarify context otherwise lacking in English translation equivalents. I don’t usually put TL notes in the story, but sometimes I just can’t help it ^u^/. Ko-fi Donors’ names and thank you notes will still be posted on the most recent chapters (not 1-8). I try my best to note major trigger warnings. If there’s something you would like me specifically to warn about, do send me a message about it (don’t be shy)!!! And last but not least: this work does NOT have a tragedy tag. Yes, there will be side character deaths, but this novel has a happy ending!!!

Happy Readings!

This chapter is unedited. Feel free to me know if there’s any glaring errors! (I’ll come back to edit later)


     In a single room apartment, a young man wearing black-framed glasses sat in front of his computer as he finished typing the final word on a document before saving the latest update into the manuscript box of the author’s admin page in Jinjiang Literature City (JJWXC), and then he casually opened up a game.

     The characters on the opening screen of the game were definitely designed to attract the attention of the younger generation.

     [A Jet-black military uniform tightly wrapped around a thin and tall body, the black military cap was fastened on top of his head, and the upper half of (the character’s) face was hidden under the brim of the hat, only revealing a high nose bridge, thin lips, and a beautifully contoured lower jaw.

     The thin blood-stained lips were hooked upwards slightly, and the tip of his tongue sensually licked at the blood stains.

     “The battle in my heart is unstoppable with you who carries the galaxy in your eyes”]

     The colorful opening screen made He Ruge suddenly very excited about the game “Your Exclusive Lover”. He pushed up his glasses calmly and asked himself:

     You’re not a young girl??

     Would you be tempted by a sexy little brother in military uniform?

     –Of course! ! ! (TL note: Of course!!! Uniforms are pretty darn sexy.  Everyone can appreciate them ouo)

     He Ruge completely forgot his original intention in playing the game. The meng (cute) girl in his mind was completely discarded. He eagerly clicked on the continue button and the opening screen disappeared, replaced by the game’s plot summary presented in the form of text.

     The setting was an orphanage, and a red-brown colored text description appeared:

     After the end of the First Intergalactic War, the 17th district produced countless orphans due to (it’s location) as the main battlefield. The Starry Sea Orphanage accepted these orphans and used them to carry out illegal human experiments which were prohibited by the Federation.

     No. 20 is the most special existence. He is the source of all future destruction. But right now, he is but a little monster.

     As an employee of the orphanage, your relationship with No. 20 is closely related to your future results.

     [Skip the plot summary]

     【Yes】

     【No】

     He Ruge clicked [No].

     The game was in first-person perspective. After the text vanished, a group of staff members came in through the door each with three to four cubs in their hands: fox cubs, kittens, puppies, piglets…… (this scene) almost stunned He Ruge into a full daze.

     Was the setting really an orphanage and not a zoo?

     A blonde staff member looked at He Ruge as he held two cubs by the back of their necks, and called: “Hey! Come help!”

     The (game) screen automatically advanced and landed on the white tiger cub in the blonde staff member’s left hand. The cub’s fur was covered in blood, and his blue eyes showed a trace of hostility.

     “You, carry this tiger cub. Be careful, he already bit me before. We’ll put these cubs in Room B6, the higher ups said we’ll be conducting a small experiment……”

     A pair of slender hands appeared on the screen and received the white tiger cub with its fur standing on end. With a wave of his small paw, cold light flashed, blood splattered, and five bloodstains appeared on the back of the hand!

     Obviously, his “self” (his character) in the game had been scratched.

     This little white tiger was akin to a curled up hedgehog, aiming to pierce everyone in cuts and bruises.

     The image then changed to the second floor of the orphanage, focusing on Room B6 which was at the end of the stairwell. The door was slowly pushed open to reveal a space divided into 20 compartments by slabs of iron plates. There were ten iron compartments built against each of the left and right walls. Blood-red Arabic numbers hung on the front door of each compartment.

     Carrying his bloody streaked hand, he carried the white tiger cub and arrived in front of iron compartment “No. 20”. Inside was a cotton nest bedding and a cat litter box.

     The Little White Tiger was thrown into the cotton nest like an upside down plucked green onion. Even though he reacted quickly and had promptly rushed back up to the door, it was still a step too late – the iron door closed with a “Ka-da“, and the little white tiger slammed firmly right into the iron door.

     A moment later, a milky (soft/cub-like) roar sounded from the compartment.

     [End of Plot Synopsis]

     【Game is Starting】

     【Daily Task:

     The cub in room B6 is one of the experimental subjects of the “Ice Project“. As a staff member, you must participate in the “Ice Project” and record the data fluctuations for all experimental subjects. In the “Ice Project”, only No. 20 has special considerations.

     “Note: During the Ice Project, the experimental subject must be contained in an enclosed space. All staff will try to avoid physical contact, verbal communication, and eye contact with the experimental subjects while delivering meals and undertaking cleaning tasks.”]

Main Mission:

     No. 20’s growth rate is extremely fast. You must gain favorability points while he is still young and weak. After the sixth experiment, if No.20’s favorability level towards you is less than 60, you will die; if No.20’s favorability towards you is 90 or higher, you will unlock military uniform PLAY

     “Note: Military uniform PLAY. No.20 will put on a military uniform and play with you”]

     Sitting in front of the computer, He Ruge pushed up his glasses frames again before falling into contemplation at those two suggestive symbols.

     He Ruge, a romance writer, a straight steel man, would he be interested in this type of spouse-raising game?

     The mouse clicked on continue without hesitation, and a bunch of baby bottles appeared on the game screen.

     【Daily Task:

     Feed the experimental subjects (0/20)]

     With the baby bottle in hand, the screen stopped at the door of No. 1’s iron compartment room. There was a lid at the bottom of the iron door which opened to reveal a round hole just barely big enough to fit the baby bottle.

     【Beginner’s Guide:

     Lift the lid and insert half the bottle into the round hole. 】

     He clicked on the lid with the mouse, and when the lid opened, a pair of big black grape-like eye appeared from behind the hole: “Bark wuuu Bark Bark wuuu~” (Wang Wu Wang Wang Wu~)

     [Warning: During the feeding period, if the experimental subject looks at you for more than three seconds, it will be regarded as eye contact, and the mission will be considered a failure! 】

     A three-second countdown timer appeared on the screen, and the terrified He Ruge used the hand speed of being single for many years [1], immediately stuffed the bottle into the round hole.

     Half of the milk bottle was stuffed in while the back half of the bottle was firmly held in He Ruge’s hand.

     The occupant of compartment Number 1 was a small milky dog (puppy)[2].

     He Ruge recalled the sudden glance he had caught before. It had black eyes and yellow fur, and was very small. Its temper appeared quite good, at least much better than the Little White Tiger’s.

     The details of this game were very well handled. For example, the scratches on the back of his hand were still present.

     The milk in the bottle dwindled rapidly, and He Ruge looked at the emptied bottle with a faint sense of happiness in his heart.

     The happiness of raising a dog was quite extraordinary.

     【Beginner’s Guide:

     When the subject has finished drinking the milk, please extract the bottle and replace the lid (of the door)]

     He Ruge followed the Beginner’s guideline. But, as he closed the lid, he heard whimpering and crying yips, as if (the cub) was begging him not to leave.

     Clearly, this was just a simulated game; yet, unwillingness sprouted from his heart. However, when he recalled the daily tasks’ requirements, his entanglement quickly vanished.

     He Ruge fed from No.1 to No.19 and identified five little puppies and three little kittens through their distinct calls. The other “wuu wuu”, “jii jii”, and “coo coo” were unplaceable, coupled with the fact that the lighting in the compartments was very dim, and he only had three seconds, he couldn’t make out any of their appearances. He Ruge noted a question mark for the identities of those residents, preparing to find an opportunity to fill in the missing information.

     The feeding session finally ended up at No.20’s door, and He Ruge felt that the guilt in his heart from leaving nineteen adorable little cubs in the cold was slightly relieved. He was finally able to properly cultivate favorability with the Little White Tiger.

Beginner’s Guide:

     When you are in close contact with the No.20, you must avoid the cameras. Each time No.20’s favorability/goodwill for you increases, you will receive a little heart. One little heart can block the surveillance monitors for ten minutes.

     [Note 1] Little Hearts: Little Hearts is the currency used in the Love Mall

     [Note 2] Love Mall: When No.20 begins to build favorability towards you, the Love Mall will automatically become available]

     He Ruge examined the screen for a long time, but couldn’t figure out where to look for the favorability and little hearts. However, at this moment, the novice gift package fell from the sky.

     [Beginner’s Gift Pack *1]

     [Please confirm to receive]

     [Received successfully]

     【You have received

     [Single Use Monitor Shield*3]

     [Candy *3]

     [Common Medicine *3]

     [Bandages *3″]

     He Ruge used one “Single-Use Monitor Shield” to obtain ten minutes of close interaction with the Little White Tiger.

     His mouse clicked on the lid of No. 20’s iron door. However, once the lid was lifted, the pair of blue eyes didn’t appear as he had anticipated. Only an expanse of darkness could be seen through it.

     This…… didn’t conform to the common pattern.

     When He Ruge fed No.1 through No.19, every time he lifted the lid, he could see sparkling eyes behind the hole. Every cub was very enthusiastic. If they weren’t divided by the iron door, he’s afraid they would all directly pounce towards the bottle in He Ruge’s hand.

     At this moment a few selectable options appeared:

     [No. 20 did not immediately appear like the other subjects. You are slightly confused. You choose:

     A. Maintain the current situation

     B. Approach the hole and see examine the situation]

     The ten minutes of interactive time was slipping away little by little. If the LIttle White Tiger slept in the room for the entire ten minutes, wouldn’t the prop be wasted?

     He Ruge unhesitantly selected B, and his character ‘self’ in the game approached the round hole. Because the game was in first-person perspective, his entire screen turned pitch black, and only the outline of a cub was faintly visible within the darkness. However, before He Ruge could even settle himself, a snow-white claw suddenly piercing the darkness through the round hole, swiping accurately and accurately —

     A familiar cold light flashed!

     A familiar sight of blood splattered!

     [You have been attacked by No. 20. There are streaks of blood on the bridge of your nose. Do you wish to use [Bandage*1]?]

     【Yes】

     【No】

     He Ruge: “……”

     So it turns out that the bandages were prepared for me…

     He silently used one bandage.

     With the sudden appearance of the aggressive Little White Tiger, a floating screen emerged with selectable options:

     [Talk] [Touch] [Feed]

     There was also a status bar:

     [Hostile]: No.20 despises everyone in the Starr Sea Orphanage, which naturally includes you 

     [Unawakened]: No one has discovered that No. 20 is a little monster, except you

     No wonder he couldn’t find the love mall nor see the degree of favorability. All of his stats were currently negative, and he didn’t even know how negative his level of favorability currently was……

     This was the first time he had faced such a hostile attitude, and it was from a murderous Little White Tiger cub. He Ruge felt a bit dumbfounded.

     Anyways, he should finish the daily tasks first. The Little White Tiger was hostile to him, but he shouldn’t be hostile to the bottle.

     He clicked on the bottle to feed, and as expected, the Little White Tiger didn’t do anything to the bottle. The bottle of milk was quickly consumed. However, the Little White Tiger who was full from drinking didn’t act like other cubs who wanted a hug, a kiss, and a lift. He returned to his cotton nest without looking back, and even threw out a fierce snarl before leaving.

     【Daily Task:

     Feed the experimental subjects (Breakfast ※Completed)]

     The little White Tiger’s reaction was within He Ruge’s expectations (so he didn’t pay it much attention). Instead, his eyes fell on the three interactive options [Talk] [Touch] [Feed]

     He should just try each one in order.

     He Ruge click [Talk], and a dialogue box appeared:

     No.20

     [No. 20 said nothing, he lays quietly in the cotton nest]

     He Ruge clicked [Talk] again.

     No.20

     [No. 20 doesn’t want to talk to you]

     He Ruge: “……”

     Although he expected this reaction, why did he still feel a little injured?

     He used the mouse to click [Touch].

     The iron door opened and closed again with lightning speed. The little white tiger lying in the cotton nest widened his eyes in disbelief as he looked at He Ruge who appeared before him.

     When the scratched and blood scabbed hand touched the Little White Tiger, He Ruge averted his eyes and couldn’t bear to watch the following development.

     No.20

     [No. 20’s fur explodes. He believes his personal space has been violated. He scratches and bites you again]

     [You were attacked by No. 20 and injured your forearm. Do you wish to use [Bandage*1]?]

     【Yes】

     【No】

     He Ruge: “……”

     It seems three bandages would be insufficient.

     Under the Little White Tiger’s wild cat fists, a pair of black-framed glasses tumbled to the ground.

     It might have just been a coincidence that the pair of glasses on screen was similar to the ones He Ruge wore in reality.

     He looked at the innocent black-framed glasses that landed on the ground, and couldn’t help touching his own glasses frame.

     Due to his appearance, glasses were a major factor of importance in his life. Wearing glasses allowed him to avoid many unnecessary troubles.

No.20

     [Your glasses have fallen. No.20 sees your appearance without glasses. No.20 stops attacking]

     Status:

     [Hostile → Indifferent]: No.20 despises everyone in the Starry Sea Orphanage, but he doesn’t think you look like a bad person.

     He Ruge: “???”


     The author has something to say:

     Small Theater:

     He Ruge: Why did you give me a good person card

     Xi Guican: Because you are so good-looking~


[1]“Hand speed of being single for many years”: euphemism for ‘self-pleasuring’

[2]Milky dog: puppy. I will henceforth be referring to ‘milky’ as ‘cub’, ‘pups’, or the cub equivalent of the animal being referenced


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